Do you ever check yourself? In what you say, what you do, and what you write? Do you stop and say, “Here’s a line I must not cross”? Or do you spew your thoughts and ideas out loud and on paper and in blog posts across the web without a thought for how they will be perceived by others?
This is an electronic world we live in and as much as things are so very easy now because of technology, it is also a very harsh and unforgiving frontier on some fronts. What you put out there in the electronic world can and will, and often does, come back to bite you on your pretty little ass.
Have you ever heard of the Wayback Machine? I can use it and dig up cached copies of websites I built more than 10 years ago. I cringe when I see them because my work is more refined and prettier now. And even though those sites are no longer up, they are still out there for people to find, if you know how to dig.
When you post to your blog, how many people are going to see it and remember your words? Dooce is a blogger who became famous for losing her job because of what she said on her blog. My own pal Karl had the same thing happen to him. I even have a post on my blog about “How I Almost Got Karled” which is about how I got “talked to” at work because of frustrations I’d unloaded on my personal blog.
Yahoo groups and blogs are places you can call your own, but you have to ask yourself how much access do people have to those things? How much of yourself are you giving away to others in a thoughtless, careless manner? Are you giving a stalker the means to find your house or your place of employment? Are you giving readers a bad view of yourself as an author when you whine constantly on your blog or public group about your bad editors, stupid publishers, and the antics of other authors who are behaving in a less than professional manner? And what about when you blatantly do things on groups that are against the rules? Don’t those things reflect poorly on you as well?
Yes. They. Do.
If promo is only Monday and you send one through on Wednesday, and you do it more than once, people start thinking you’re either getting preferential treatment (which will piss them off) or that you’re arrogant and don’t give a shit about anyone’s rules. The more authors and readers see you do these things, the fewer fans and buyers you get for your books. And yes, the more publishers and editors who see it, the fewer houses you’ll find for your work. No one wants to deal with a prima donna. Maybe you’re not really one, but by flaunting the rules repeatedly, you’ve given the impression that you are.
If you post the wrong kind of promo to a loop, the same thing holds true. If the group is for sweet romance only and you’re posting sci-fi erotica you can be sure that someone – probably lots of someones – are going to notice. And they won’t forget that you were either too stupid to figure out your promo didn’t fit that group or you were too arrogant to care. Readers don’t want to buy from authors who are assholes. I don’t want to buy from authors who are assholes. Most people don’t.
And speaking of groups, how much should you tell people on an open, public group? I have a closed, non-public, invite only group. I say whatever I want there and invite the members to do the same. But we’re talking about two dozen people who probably aren’t the type to go spilling their guts to the web that Rott made Lex cry last night. (He didn’t. It’s just an example. LOL) Or that menopause is kicking my ass with more periods than I’ve had in 10 years. (Quite true, unfortunately.)
But did you REALLY need to know that about me? Did you REALLY want to know it? And should I have even told you? How much of my private life should I share with you before it becomes monotonous and stupid and fuel for someone to make fun of me in an effort to boost their sales by hopefully diminishing mine?
And more than all that, how much do you have to say and do before you lose the respect of others, sales for your books, and publishers you can submit to?
If you sign a contract with a house not to give away more than 5 copies of your book and you give away 10 and the publisher finds out about it because you posted it to your blog all braggy-like…do you think they are just going to smile and say, “Oh, that Lex. She’s just the nicest thing. We’ll just tell her not to do that again.” HELL TO THE NO. They are gonna be pissed and rightly so. You are now in breach of contract, honey, and if they have already gotten on your case for other things (promoing with non-sanctioned excerpts and blurbs and artwork, talking about their staff publically in a way that isn’t positive, etc.) you can bet your bottom dollar that your next submission to them is going to be looked at askance.
Sure, the big sellers get away with these antics. Sometimes. But do you want to risk it? Risk sales, fans, professional respect?
Authors need to press the flesh, get out there and tell people who you are, show them your work. But you need to do this in a professional manner, using the most polished tools you have, and you need to always be aware of your web-presence. Be aware of the fact that no matter how casual the internet is, it’s a faithless bitch who will stab you in the back because every freaking error and misstep you have ever made in this cyber world can be uncovered and used against you.
Choose your words and deeds wisely in public, and make no mistake, this internet IS public. The information you whisper in one ear on the net isn’t really going into just one ear…it’s going into millions. Edit yourself as you should edit your work. And before you frown at me and tell me that’s a lot of extra BS you never signed up for with this gig, let me remind you of things your parents probably told you.
Put your best foot forward.
Think before you speak.
Before you type into that chat window, IM window, Twitter box, Facebook wall, Yahoo group, blog post, blog comment, forum, message board, PM, email, text message, or any other social media or internet related thing… do those two things. And remember, there’s a reason people yell TMI across all social media. Sometimes, there are things we just don’t want to know. So before you spew your guts out on Facebook or the loops, you better make sure you know and understand just exactly what truly is too much.
Ya know, duct tape is really handy. I use it for everything. Best little tool in the world. Okay, had to plug duct tape. Got a thousand uses, easy.
I’ve been complaining about the TMI for a long time now. Have I been guilty of it? Probably. But when you’re on a group with fellow authors, it can sometimes come across as a more intimate setting than it really is. I’m not sure posters always realize what they are doing. Someone says something that reminds you of something and before you know it, it’s just out there. But it’s good to remind everyone of just how easy it is to slip into comfort mode when in reality, it’s the last thing they should be feeling. God forbid a poster come online with a long long lecture on their husband and how bad he is in bed, then become a NYTBS author and have someone ask them about that in an interview. lol
Great blog. Good reminder.
Good blog, Lex. Much to think about.
Tess – It’s true that we get comfortable and forget that everything we say online gets archived somewhere. And I know people have had their words come back to haunt them and not in a good way. I think we all just need to have the brakes on in our heads a little, and use a few seconds delay before we hit send.
Carol – Thanks! Too many people don’t realize that once something is out there in the cyber world, it’s really hard to bring it back, cover it up, or make it go away.
Being an editor, writing instructor, and an author has me always secondguessing what I’m about to post online. Some things I’m fine with and just don’ give a sh** such as screaming about the school district we live in, but other things I’ll read, re-read, and re-re-read and think about it before I post or blog about it.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times or more. The cyber world is just like high school. If you don’t want it repeated, don’t tell anyone, lol.
This is a great blog post, Lex. I hope newer writers take note of it, but just the same, it’s a thought that everyone should ponder regardless of how long he or she has been in this biz.
That’s one thing I always warn newbie writers about. It’s important to get yourself out there but you just DON’T want to blab every little personal detail in a public forum. That’s not the place for it. You want to bitch about something? Write your closest friends an email and blab away. No harm done and we all need to vent sometimes. But taking gripes public? No. Not a good idea.
I’ve blogged about this topic as well. When you are in a business, no matter which kind, you have to think about the impact of your words on your brand, your product. And the information you post here will be around for a long time.
Some years back, I was on a screenwriting list with a lot of flaming going on. About a year into my membership, a television producer came on and said, in essence, I picked so and so screenwriter for my new project because I’ve watched their behavior for this past year and its very professional.
You never know who is watching and reading what you post. What does what you write project about YOU? If you didn’t know you and read what you write, would you want to know you better?
Pauline Baird Jones
Girl Gone Nova
The Key
Good post. I think publicly badmouthing other authors, no matter how “deserved” in your opinion always looks petty and (worse) jealous. ALWAYS. Badmouthing agents, editors, and publishers in public is always a bad idea.
BUT what about in private? We all have our writing buddies — our circle of friends we trust with that sensitive information known as The Unvarnished Truth. And the juicy gossip. We need those people in our lives. Hopefully we choose them wisely.
Another consideration is that authors also network — they rely on each other for help and information, so if you know for a fact that an agent or a publisher has less than savory business practices or has violated contracts, do you politely keep mum or do you answer honestly when you’re asked for an opinion or advice? Should you wait to be asked for your opinon or advice or should you warn writing friends who might also work with the publisher?
I don’t know that there is a simple answer. I do know that discretion is something I value highly in friends and colleagues.
Good post, Lex. Add me to the group of people who have blogged about this as well. I’ve seen far too many people crash and burn by not watching what they say online, both in fiction writing and in my day job in the software industry.
I never post something I don’t want EVERYONE in the world to be able to read. Things I want to be kept private I say to friends only and directly only. I have one closed list of 13 that I chat to about some stuff but even then I limit what I post.
My personal saying is “Never burn a bridge you may want later.”
I value my profession(s) and I value the impressions people have of me. My readers are my customers and my professional peers, not my friends and family.
Faith – The internet is very much like high school and words get twisted just as viciously so even honest, good faith words can come back to hurt you. It’s rough to have to weigh your words all the time, but honestly, that the business we’re in anyway so I like to think of it as practice! LOL
Regina – Too much personal info is a bad idea. Even if you tell your closest friends that personal info, who stops them from posting it online? My daughter Nikki had an internet stalker when she was in high school because the other girls she hung out with gave the guy her personal info online. It was scary and it shows how people just do not think when they open their mouths on the internet.
Pauline – No, complaining about your editors and publisher, all those little remarks about how they chewed you out or gave you a rough time, they reflect badly on writers. They make you look whiny and unable to handle the stress. They make you look like you’re looking for sympathy. And it’s an all around BAD look to have because there are other publishers and editors reading those posts on the blogs and loops and when they see a sub by you, they won’t want to take it for fear that they will be smeared all over your blog if you don’t like how they edit you.
Josh – I think it harks us back to choosing our friends wisely. In my daughter’s case, her friends were stupid and spilled her info. Believe me, she didn’t keep them as friends. If your friends spill your info online you need to not tell them anything further that could hurt you. It’s a fine line we all walk, but it has to be traveled and traveled with care.
Maura – I’m with you on the bridges 100%. Maybe even 150%! LOL
Great advice, Lex. There’s not much else to add from what you and other commentors have said. You know in those author interviws,when you’re asked “Wat advice woud you give newbie authors?” This is always first off my tongue. Professinal, professional, professional. There are no take backs on the web. I’v lost friends over my refusal to be baited into wank fests and flame wars. And you kow, that’s okay. Those aren’t the kinds of friends one really needs.
Jaime – Do overs don’t work on the net. All those authors who think they can reinvent themselves with a new pen name etc? In the end, they will always give themselves away. They can’t help it. And all the crap associated with the old name will come back in spades because then there’s even more gossip to fuel it… the whole hiding thing! I’ll just stick to my one pen name, try to do the best I can with it, and try to keep my nose clean so that there’s nothing to come back and bite me for. And you should watch out because people will judge you by those you associate with.
Amen to all that! It’s hard enough keeping our writers life and personal life separate, let’s not complicate things. Have thought of that myself recently.